


Even if I'm not here anymore

by scullyisspooky



Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, I Tried, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me, Please Don't Kill Me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 23:47:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7128956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scullyisspooky/pseuds/scullyisspooky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus preferred it like this, no matter how painful it could be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even if I'm not here anymore

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on this fandom and I got this idea from a doujinshi that I read a loooong time ago, and I can't help myself of putting my babies through pain ¿?
> 
> (Important: English is not my first language, I hope you understand if this have some mistakes and it will)

Magnus was walking by the institute, looking all the mess that was there, practically a chaos. He wanted to surprise Alec, not big deal, but he wanted to see him so bad he couldn't manage himself to not go there. 

"Magnus? What are you doing here?" The man looked at his side to see Clary, with an interrogative look in her face, but the warlock only smiled at her, a kind smile that she understood in the moment. "You came to see Alec" she said quietly, but her expression wasn't happy at all. "Well, it seems that you'll have to wait, we have a mission now and Alec is preparing the weapons, we'll leave in a few minutes" 

"I'll go with you, then" When Magnus gave his reply, Clary's face turned more soft, understanding that his decision was to take care of _his_ shadowhunter. She nodded and left after a minutes, probably to prepare herself for the fight too. It was a few days since Alec's wedding was... canceled? Yes, that was the right term to say that Magnus interrupted it and got, surprisingly even for himself, kissed  by the groom in the middle of the room, in front of the whole Lightwood family and other important people of the Clave. Alec's parents were still reluctant to his son dating a downworlder, and to make it worse, dating Magnus Bane. Alec seemed to be okay with it, in fact, he spent the last nights in Magnus' place.    

He continued his walk for the institute's hallways, until he saw Alec leaving his room.  

"Alexander!" Magnus called him loud enough to be heard, walking a bit faster to reach the shadowhunter before he leaves. His expression was absolute surprised, but looking totally cute to the older man. "I think I came in a bad moment, did I?" Alec's face was still one of amazement, but with the time Magnus got used to it, to the slow reactions of the man when it come to social interactions. 

"Well... yeah, everything is kinda hard right now, but I'm really glad to see you" Magnus smiled because he already knew that, and with that, Alec relaxed himself, giving a quick smile.   

"I'll go with you, Alec, I want to ensure that you will be okay, besides... warlock magic is always a advantage" Magnus winked to him, laughing at the end of his words, but Alec didn't.  

"You know how dangerous this could be, I don't want you to be in any danger, I refuse, Mags"  

"I will be fine, you forget that I had survived all there years, darling? I can take care of myself, and I want to look after you you back every second I can"  

Alec didn't reply, but Magnus took the soft kiss on his lips as a positive answer.  

Shadowhunters' preparation was boring as hell, but he understood that in every mission they were risking their lives, and he wanted Alec to be the most careful he could, the same with his team, it wasn't like Magnus wanted to see Isabelle or Clary injured, not even Jace, knowing how much that will make Alec worried.  

As Isabelle told him, the mission was pretty easy, just a few demons being around a mundane place, and in fear of it could had something to do with Valentine, it was shadowhunters' work to go and finish with them, besides get the more information they can. Nothing different of their daily work, so Magnus thought that they will be home before the night, and he could spend the rest of it with the dark haired shadowhunter.  

But he was quite wrong.  

The problem was worst than he had thought, there were demons everywhere, and it seemed that they were pretty strong to had to be confronted by two shadowhunters, and now, they had a warlock of their side. Isabelle and Clary were fighting together, while Jace, Alec and Magnus were fighting a demon every one. Magnus had to admit that he was a bit tired, the fight was hard and even when they were fighting for long minutes more demons appeared.   

Once in a while, Magnus gave a quick stare to Alec, making him sure that he was okay and not hurt, but in a moment, he was looking at the girls to see their condition, Alec yelling warning him "Magnus, watch out!" He looked to the demon he was fighting with, and the demon was dangerously close, too close to him to avoid the imminent attack. Magnus covered himself with his arms, that way the hit wouldn't be so hard on him, closing his eyes while waiting for the demon to hit him. 

But it never happened, yet he felt the rushing smell of the blood in the air. Magnus opened his eyes to see Alec between he and the demon. Magnus gasped, and Alec made a moan of pure pain. Alec's blood in the ground.  

Magnus remembered he screamed Alec's name, but he wasn't sure of had heard his own voice, he just saw Alec hurt by the demon that moment after was killed by Jace, while Alec looked back to him, smiling at Magnus, who wasn't hurt at all.  

 

 

Magnus woke up almost screaming in horror, sitting up in the bed, the one that he recognized as Alec's bed. Everything seemed to be in calm now, but... 

 _Alexander._  

"Alec!" He stood up, leaving the room running, not wasting time in manners, just yelling at every person that he crossed in the corridor, but no one gave him attention, irritating him even more. "how it could be no one can tell me where's Alec?!" Magnus was desperate, tears burning in his eyes, due to the concern of Alec's status.  

 _He got hurt, he got hurt for protecting me._  

Magnus saw Isabelle in one of the corridors, running at her "Izzy! Tell me where is Alec, please!" But the woman didn't even looked at him, making Magnus angry, concern, but over all angry "Isabelle!" He literally yelled at her, but the Lightwood female was still with her stare in the wall in front of her.   

"I didn't wanted things to end like this"  

Magnus kept in silent then, looking inquisitive at her, but not wanting to waste more time, he just ran the rest of the corridor, but before he could reach another room, he heard people talking while running like him to one of the rooms. "He's too bad, he needs medical attention right now" the warlock felt the concern grow up on his chest, was _his_ Alec they were talking about? He ran after them, wishing, or not wishing at all that the person they were talking about was Alec. He wanted to see him, but not hurt, even more for his fault.  

 _I'm_ _a_ _stupid, such a stupid._  

Before Magnus could reach the infirmary, in the end of the corridor, he saw him. He saw Alec running in the same direction the people he was following.  

 _What the..._  

This time, more slow, he walked after Alec, seeing him healthy enough to run with that strength for the whole institute. "Alec! Hey!" But the shadowhunter didn't even looked back, just kept going to god know where. After a while, Alec entered at the infirmary, and Magnus after him, entering the room just in the moment that the person in charge of taking care of the shadowunters' wounds was taking off Alec's shirt, revealing his torso with bandages, some of them with still a bit of blood from his injuries.   

"How is he?! Tell me where's Magnus right now!" the named guy froze in his place, what the hell was Alec talking about? He was right at his side, and completely fine.   

"Alec... what are you talking about? What is that attitude of yours? I'm right here, you know!"   

"Where is he!?"   

"Alec calm down!" Magnus didn't even knew when Jace entered the room, but now he was arguing with Alec for a nonsense, from Magnus' point of view "They need to take care of your injuries, stay still for a second!"   

"I'm calm!"  

"Are you calling that calm?!" The warlock was starting to lose his patience, at the point he just wanted to hit Alec to him to see that he was just right by his side.   

But then he did it.  

Magnus took a quick look around the infirmary, just one of the beds occupied.  

He saw himself. He saw himself completely hurt, his clothes filled with blood, while people were trying take care of his wounds.   

 

 

Then he remembered.  

 

   
 

Magnus' wrath grew up inside him, and in the moment another demon wanted to attack them, he took a step in front of Alec, protecting him with his own body and no weapons but his magic, strong enough to face those demons all at once.  

"How you dare?!"   

The warlock killed every demon that appeared in front of him, with the same wrath that he killed the first, just protecting Alec all the cost. The fight didn't took so much time, but at the end, everyone was just too tired to go immediately, waiting to recovery at least a bit of their strength to go home.   

Jace was making sure that Clary and Izzy were okay, and Magnus ran immediately to Alec's side, smiling at the man and seeing he wasn't too hurt, nothing really serious.   

"You were great, Mags" Alec told him while the warlock helped him to stood up, making Magnus give him a little and soft smile. Everything was completely right now, his lovely shadowhunter was alive, at least, and any serious injury, but warlock's guilt was still on his chest, nothing that he would like to tell Alec, because it was a nonsense and he could deal with it.   

But that wasn't their day. At all.   

"Oh my god, guys!" Magnus only heard Clary's voice, but, this time, in time he could see the demon approaching them, and he threw Alec away the carefully he could, this time he'll be the one protecting Alec, putting himself on the line for him. Now, it was a completely different kind of demon, it was bigger, and possibly stronger. Magnus remembered he fought his life out, and that the demon, as he thought, was amazingly strong, and every time Alec yelled at him, he just yelled him back " _back off,_ _Alec_ _!_ "  

He remembered he killed the demon, with no help because he wanted to do it for Alec, he wanted to prove to himself that he could protect one of the most important people in his life, but something went wrong and he also remembered falling on the ground, the metallic smell of the blood clouding all his senses, and a burning pain in almost his whole body. The warmness of the blood on his clothes, and everybody's voices screaming in horror, why? He couldn't understand, did something happened to Alec? He was fine... he was.  

 _What happened?_  

"Magnus! Please, answer me!" He remembered being in Alec's arms, and how warm they felt, but even when he wanted to reply to him, he could not. His vision was blurry, and he wanted to see Alec's eyes but he couldn't. He wanted to say his name but he couldn't. Alec's breath was erratically, and Magnus wanted to say him that everything was fine, that he has nothing to worry about, but even the shadowhunter's scream covered his voice, if he even talked.   

"By the angel, Magnus, don't do this to me, please, _my love..._ " 

 _S_ _o... this is how things went._  

 

Seeing his own image on that hospital bed, Alec being healed while he was yelling every one that deny him to see Magnus.  

 _Yeah, I see._  Jace's face showed it all, and the warlock knew it already, he didn't need anybody to tell him the truth, and, somehow, he preferred things like this. It was a way better than had to see Alec on that bed, deadly hurt, but now, he couldn't be more thankful.  

He closed his eyes, to tears couldn't fall down his face, but he was also smiling, his Alec wasn't hurt, or he was, but not big deal, even when he hated seeing _his_ Alec hurt on a mission. Or wherever he may be injured. 

 

 _T_ _hanks_ _goodness_ _._  

_The one who was dying... was me._


End file.
